EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!
by YukinaMizuki
Summary: Watch as Harvest Moon characters from all games, come and battle it out through rapping! C'mon and see who gets served, and see who wins this battle!
1. Philip VS Mikhail

**Hey everyone! It's me, YukinaMizuki again! Now this is something that my brother came up with, and we decided to just send it. Ok, BEFORE YOU READ, YOU NEED TO KNOW A FEW THINGS. One is that Mikhail is married to Lillian. Another is that Philip is in love with Lillian, but Philip is Lillian's brother… ok, I think that's about it… I don't own Harvest Moon, or this idea. (My brother made this.)**

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!

Philip!

VS

Mikhail!

BEGIN!

**Philip**: Hey, what's your story? You look like a jerk!

How can you take care of a wife when you don't even work?

I brought the two towns together, in case you didn't hear

I make more in 1 day, than you make in a year!

I won awards, trophies and you don't have squat!

You want to rap with me? Let's see what you got?!

**Mikhail**: Oh, hello? What do we have here? Some little kid running for farmer of the year?

Haha, that's cute, but we all know who's gonna win

I'll play your ass like I play the violin!

Winner of the music festival 10 years in a row...

It's time to give up, game over bro.

Because i think what you're doing is one hell of a lost cause

I already married Lillian, so I guess you just lost.

**Philip**: ha! That's it? That was your all?

So much for the hobo that lives in town hall!

You think that you'll win, but you're probably dreaming again

Lillian only married you because she likes taking care of old men

Look at that white hair and glasses, it's a miracle you're still alive!

I think Taro still remembers you from the class of '65,

Lillian should leave you, and she should get with me.

I'm the guy all the girls want and all the boys want to be!

**Mikhail**: "Special bachelor" is in my name so read it and weep!

All the girls "want" you, cause they don't know you're a creep

I mean, nothing in the world is creepier than you!

A sicko perv with a sister complex, now tell me that isn't true?

Now you say all the boys want to be you? Are you sure mister?

Cause I for one, don't want to be a guy, who dreams of F**** his sister...

WHO WON!?

YOU DECIDE!

Epic rap battles of Harvest Moon!

**So…do you like it? Who do YOU think won? Ok…. So my brother and I were talking about HM pairings, and I said how much I love MikhailxLillian, but then, I told him that I love PhilipxLillian too, So I didn't know which pairing to choose. Then my bro said that Philip and Lillian look like they can be siblings. After this conversation, we thought about what would happen if there was some weird love triangle between them, and if Philip and Mikhail hate each other. Thus, the story was born! Yes, they battle through rap. **

**Oh, and yeah… it may say complete, but me and my bro will actually keep adding more epic rap battles soon. It depends on how many people like this story.**

**Anyways, This has been YukinaMizuki, with another story for Harvest Moon!**


	2. WE ARE SO SORRY!

**Umm…hello everyone… It's me, YukinaMizuki… I would like to announce something… I have noticed that I got a review from someone who called us a thief… because we didn't give credit to the actual thing which is on YouTube…****I would like to say to this particular person who said those words that we are so deeply sorry. We give full credit to the makers of the original thing, and we are just fans who are writing this.**

**I, YukinaMizuki was a complete idiot, because I completely forgot. I made such a huge mistake, and I didn't notice that I forgot. So instead, I would like to thank the guest who made that comment. You at least made me remember, and I hope I won't make this mistake again.**

**Once again, to the guest who made that review, and to everyone who might have gotten offended...we are very very sorry…and WE GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL MAKERS, who made epic rap battles of history first, and we just put harvest moon and wrote it like this. This was only made for fun, and we had no intention of stealing anything, or offending anyone.**

**For everyone's information, we will continue this, though this time, we will credit the original makers before hand.**

**SORRY!**

**From: YukinaMizuki and her brother**


	3. Gill VS Chase

**Hello everyone. We are here for another chapter of Epic Rap Battles of Harvest moon… Now I'd like to say that please don't be offended between the things Chase and Gill are saying. You know how Chase and Gill can be. **

**We give credit to the people who created the actual Epic Rap Battles of History originally, and this is just for fun. We don't want to offend anyone. **

Epic rap battles of Harvest moon!

GILL!

VS.

CHASE!

BEGIN!

**GILL:** Out of all the people they choose to rap with me, they chose a pink haired clown!?

Well step aside fool! I'm the next mayor of this town!

By the way, I've been wondering, and it's been bugging me for hours...

Why is it your hair looks like you never took a shower?

And for the record, I've never liked your food, it reminds me of poo.

Now, why don't you ask Doctor Jin to treat the burn I just gave you?

**Chase****:** You think I'm afraid of burns? You've got to be kiddin

Why do you even think I spend all my time in the kitchen?

You just survived my calm; now get ready for the storm,

Even your own mother died, on the day you were born!

And you want to insult my hair? What about your hair instead?

The pompous jerk with a radio antenna, sticking out of his head!

**Gill****:** Whoa, you think you just won by bringing up my Trauma?

I'm a world leader! Even better than Obama!

Yes, money, power, even looks are on my side

You can run from my power but you know you can't hide!

I own this whole town! Including your kitchen!

So get the hell out! I just signed for its demolition!

**Chase**: Not so fast, I did some research on our game, and honestly it was quite scary...

Have you seen the person you're supposed to marry?

Mr. "Better than Obama" would break the law if he even kissed her!

If Candace was Cinderella, you just married the ugly step sister

Listen Gill, I've known you since we were kids, and honestly you haven't changed

I guess you still prefer dating girls who look waaaay underage.

WHO WON!?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!

**Well… I hope it was ok… ok, we have an announcement…**

**WE'RE ACCEPTING REQUESTS NOW!**

**Yeah! You can request any character from harvest moon. Even if they're not from the same game!**

**Example: Cindy VS Kevin (both kids from Grand Bazaar)**

**Ignis (Animal Parade) VS Cheryl (Tale -of- two towns) (Bad example, but an example non-the less) **

**Ok, that was just an example… at least keep the request within the realm of sanity please! **

**So, basically that's about it. We're excited to see what you come up with, see you guys next time!**


	4. Witch Princess VS Harvest Goddess

**HELLO EVERYONE! WE ARE BACK AGAIN! So we looked at what you guys could come up with, and we decided to do ****klaluvsowls0.0****'s request. So without further ado, here's the girl's edition…WITCH PRINCESS VS. HARVEST GODDESS! **

…**oh yeah…we don't own any of this! Credits go to the owner. (Once again a reminder, don't get offended to what they say. Dude, it's just a game.)**

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!

(GIRLS EDITION)

WITCH PRINCESS!

VS.

HARVEST GODDESS!

BEGIN!

**WITCH PRINCESS:** Looks like it's our turn, let's settle the score!

We've been arguing for years, and I can't take it anymore!

You're just an ugly bitch, who will probably die alone,

I think that's the true reason you got turned into stone.

Harvest "Goddess"? Hah! Please, you're just a glorified stripper!

Oh, and that farmer you like? Hehe, he's one hell of a kisser...

**Harvest Goddess****:** You got one thing right, after this we'll finally have a winner

But you think you're some kind of rap expert, you're just a beginner.

And let me clarify something you insignificant bug,

I was only turned into stone, after seeing your ugly mug!

I've been around forever, yes, I've seen it all...

But never a girl, who's breasts are as flat as a wall!

**WITCH PRINCESS:** You want to talk size? Well your ego is bigger

Asking for offerings just to see you? What a gold-digger,

And bitch please, beginner? Haha that was a nice try!

I rapped against Voldemort, and even made _HIM_ cry.

Just face the fact that you lost, it's over my dear,

Or how about a magic trick? I'll make your frickin face disappear!

**HARVEST GODDESS:** Like I would be afraid of a Las Vegas reject

It seems miss "princess" here needs to learn some respect

What's funny is you say I lost and you actually _meant_ it?

I perform _REAL _magic; you're just the sorcerer's apprentice!

Oh, and I think N_atsume Inc_. Did a typo, because your name is a mess

Let's change the "W" to a "B" and _THEN_ add "Princess"!

Who won!?

You decide!

Epic rap battles of harvest moon!

**And that was it for this chapter/episode. Once again, thanks to ****klaluvsowls0.0**** for the request. Remember, you review and request, and we'll do the work!**

**From YukinaMizuki and her bro**


	5. Gray VS Neil

**Hey everyone! So, me and my bro would like to thank the people who actually tried to make us feel better, ever since a person called us a thief. You guys are awesome! We're lucky that we actually have readers like you guys. So anyways… here's the next chapter/episode of Epic Rap Battles of Harvest Moon. Ok, this was requested by someone named ****Luna. **** GRAY VS. NEIL! **

**CREDITS GO TO THE OWNER!**

**Ok…me and my bro are getting tired of saying this…DON'T GET OFFENDED BY WHAT THEY SAY. IT'S JUST A GAME.**

Epic rap battles of harvest moon!

GRAY

VS.

NEIL!

BEGIN!

**Gray: ** Enough of the waiting let's cut to the chase!

How do you feel like rapping with a hammer to your face?

So you play around with animals? Man, that's so weak!

I'm the best blacksmith in town, so you can bet I'll bring the heat!

Though, I doubt a newbie like you could ever do the same,

I expected as much from a guy, who comes from a failure of a game!

**Neil:** "Best blacksmith in town"? HA, don't make me laugh!

Your grandfather's skill was 100, yours is _BARELY_ even half!

And you say _MY _game's a failure? You think _yours_ is any greater?

I've seen better graphics on my dad's calculator!

So what's the matter Gray? Was that all you could do?

Honestly, I think even that Kappa gets more ass than you...

**Gray:** Yeah, yeah, keep talking, it's not over yet

You had one chance to beat me, and that's all you'll ever get!

You, talk about ass, but I doubt _you_ get much...

Keep milking your cow, cuz that's the only tits you're EVER gonna touch!

I'm the original "Bad boy", everything I have, is everything you lack!

And by the way, Vaughn called... he wants his personality back!

**Neil:** You're just an old fossil! That's all you'll ever be!

I didn't copy Vaughn; he was a prototype for me!

I own my own business! And I even dress better too!

But I'd wear that hat, if I was as ugly as you!

You said you'd bring the "heat" but you weren't very good...

They all see a "bad boy", but I just see a girl who's stuck on her period...

WHO won!?

You decide!

Epic rap battles of harvest moon!

**So, this was ****Luna****'s request. Well, just keep on requesting, and we'll do the work! **


	6. Lillian VS Jill

**Hey everyone! Me and my bro are here for another chapter/episode. Now this one wasn't actually a request, but we felt like doing this. Here is...JILL VS. LILLIAN!**

**ALL CREDITS GO TO THE OWNER! **

**We are just going to say this one more time... DON'T GET OFFENDED BY WHATEVER IS ON THE RAP BATTLE...C'MON IT'S JUST A GAME!**

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!

(GIRLS EDITION!)

JILL!

VS.

LILLIAN!

BEGIN!

**JILL:** Let's drop the sweet talk, get ready to start!

Like the two towns before you, I'll tear you apart!

I was the first girl protagonist, then, they tried to make a copy!

They tried to capture my good looks, but it looks like they were sloppy.

The effort it takes to beat you, is waaay below minimal,

There's no way a _copy _can ever beat the original!

**LILLIAN: ** You think I'm a copy? That's probably _your_ misconception,

Everyone needs a rough draft before they reach perfection!

"I'm sooo much better than everyone" is that honestly what you think?

Then like your game on the PS1, you should've gone extinct!

When _I _enter a room, people whistle and howl, when _you _enter there's just laughter

The ending of this rap battle is: LILLIAN came in 1st place! And JILL came tumbling after...

**JILL:** I think you're mistaken; one of your lines wasn't true...

I'm not better than _everyone..._ I'm just better than you!

Did you know when your mom gave birth; one sibling was uglier than the other?

Cuz have you seen the movie "King Kong"? It's how your father met your mother!

Your ugly ass can't take anymore! Time to fade to black,

Because like Justin Timberlake, I'm bringing sexy back!

**LILLIAN:** Wait... you said one of us was uglier than the other?

Oh now I'm gonna kill you! No one insults my brother! (*)

It's time someone stood up, and put you in your place!

Because my "ass" is probably prettier than your entire face!

Now I hope my rhymes hit you! Heck, I hope they made you deaf!

Lastly, how can _you_ bring "sexy" back, when _I_ never even left?

WHO WON!?

YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!

**So...that was it for this chapter/episode! Were still accepting requests, we just really wanted to do this one...so just request, and if we like it, we might just do it. **

**(*) Ok, did you guys get it? We don't want to explain the joke here, but think about it if you haven't already...Jill was probably insulting Lillian.**


	7. Jamie VS Vaughn

**Hello, Hi, etc. everyone! Ok, this week's Rap Battle was suggested by... ****ChaoticFluffball ****and ****The Raccoon Goon****! **

**WE GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL MAKERS OF "EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY" ON YOUTUBE.**

**And everything else we say at the start. Ok, let's just start!**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**VAUGHN!**

**VS.**

**JAMIE!**

**BEGIN!**

**VAUGHN**: You feelin lucky punk? Cuz you're gonna need it!

People who rap against me, always end up defeated

So, why don't you back off kid, you're blocking my vision

Why are you even here? This isn't "_girls' edition"..._

I bet when people first saw you, they probably went "_what the hell?"_

Are you a girl or a dude? Because even _I _can't freakin tell...

**JAMIE:** I just heard something strange, so just to make things clear...

You said this wasn't "_girls' edition", _so why are _you _here_?_

Yeah, they just called me here to teach the cowboy a lesson

First of all, who the hell starts a rap with a Clint Eastwood impression?

Sure he was awesome, that much is true...

But his movie "The Good the Bad and the Ugly", was probably named after you!

**VAUGHN**: Hmph... It's not a good idea to get a guy like me pissed...

You serve a goddess, who doesn't even know you exist,

Now, I don't care if that was a low blow...

I'll send you back cryin to the dump where you found that poncho.

Because even your game is junk, so I know it won't last,

I've heard more _"Magical melodies" _come out of my ass...

**JAMIE:** I serve a goddess who was turned into _STONE!_

If Chelsea never met you, you would have been forever alone!

You thought you landed a low blow? You didn't even scratch my defense.

And the place where I got this poncho? Same place where you lost your fashion sense...

You only insulted my game because you know you were losing...

In your game you're a cowboy on an island? Compared to my gender, that's way more confusing...

* * *

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**So I guess that's it for this Episode/Chapter... As always, as long as you keep on reviewing, we'll be here to keep writing! **


	8. Lily VS Emiko

**Ok, so here's another rap battle! Since the person who requested this is a guest, and we have no way of telling who it was, we just want to say thank you nonetheless in case you're watching! **

**WE GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL MAKERS OF EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! Oh, and everything else we say before we make this stuff.**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVESTMOON!**

**(GIRLS EDITION)**

**LILY!**

**VS.**

**EMIKO!**

**BEGIN!**

**LILY:** So _THIS_ is the rambunctious upstart who thinks she can beat me?

Though I must inform you right here, that I shan't make it easy

I have traversed the globe, and beheld all its wonder,

But never before have I seen such a blunder!

You are a princess who's never taken more than 5 steps out the door...

I had foreseen you as a challenge, but you are a bore... nothing more

**EMIKO:** I have spent my whole life indoors just sitting and praying,

That one day people will understand what the F*** you are saying!

You speak like someone from the year 1322,

So I have a question, did King Arthur write all these raps for you?

I mean, raise your hand if you understand her rap, because quite frankly I lost her...

You're a mistake that what would happen, if Indiana Jones and Lara Croft had a daughter.

**LILY:** It matters not if you comprehend my speech, for I do not even care...

I've had more intense _rap battles_ with my stuffed panda bear.

I'm the greatest adventurer! In case you can't recall...

While you serve the same purpose, as Gale's crystal ball!

I wanted an opponent of worth... I guess you weren't it...

That's because you're skills are like excrement! Or in other words, SHIT!

**Emiko**: At least I was born simple and content, and without any of your traits,

1 million G ticket? Who the hell could afford you? Your ex-boyfriend Bill Gates!?

You also claim to be an adventurer, well this, I would like to see

Let's see how well you "Adventure" when I stick this arrow in your knee!

And I've already seen the future, there's no need for you to stress,

It says: LILY'S ASS WILL GET OWNED BY A WATER SHRINE PRINCESS!

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**Ok, so that was it for this Chapter/Episode! As always, whatever you guys request, we'll see what we can do! **


	9. Allen VS Skye

**Hi everyone. Here's a request from... a ****guest**** and someone named ****Aya Drevis ****….also, there's a little…added bonus here….hehe…**

**WE GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL OWNERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE WE SAY.**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVETS MOON!**

**ALLEN!**

**VS.**

**SKYE!**

**BEGIN!**

**ALLEN:** Welcome to my shop, you're a rare customer to see,

No need for you to steal, I'll serve you for free.

You're a flirt, who spends all his time with girls just to rob them,

I only serve WOMEN, so serving you should be no problem...

You come into MY salon, and yet, you still think you can win?

You're the only customer I've had, who looked ugly, before AND after he came in!

**SKYE:** In case you haven't heard, I leave notes before I commit a crime,

I was going to write you one, but I know you're not worth my time.

And I thought the movie "Sweeney Todd" ended in 2008?

If you're here for the auditions, then you're already too late!

Honestly, if I wanted to rap against a GIRL, I would've chosen Jill or Claire

Not some sad barber, who spent his whole childhood "playing" with hair...

**ALLEN: **Wait, rewind... did you just call ME a girl? Dude, your brain is a mess!

YOUR "liked" gifts include: perfume, earrings and even a dress...

Compared to someone like you, I'm 10 times more manly,

And at least I had a childhood, what about you? Where the hell is your family?

And between Jill and Claire, do you honestly have to choose?

I already own Rio, so even in terms of relationships you lose!

**SKYE:** Me, lose in relationships? Oh, don't you even dare!

Have you ever noticed that Rio looks a lot like my Claire?

Haha, now look who's getting pissed?

Rio probably only dated you, cuz she's in need of a stylist!

I've got fame, I've got looks, and I even have riches!

I don't need to choose between Jill and Claire, because both of them are my Bitches!

**(Wait... suddenly the floor of the rap battle arena is shaking)**

**ALLEN & SKYE: **HUH!?

**(The main doors were kicked down! Two figures have entered the arena!)**

**?****?: **Oh no you didn't... somebody has to teach you boys a lesson...

**ALLEN****:** R-Rio!?

**SKYE:** C-Claire!?

**RIO:** We traveled all the way here, just to see you "Drama Queens" complaining!

Do you even have any idea how much BULLSH*T you guys are saying!?

**CLAIRE: **You guys insulted us, because your rap battle was such a bore!

You two want a rap battle? We'll give you a rap WAR!

**RIO:** Hey, Claire I don't think they understand how much patience we've given.

**CLAIRE: **I know you want to punch them in the face, but let's refrain from hitting women...

**RIO:** But the fact that you used me in a rap, is a fact you can't erase

You think in our game I only belong to you? Why don't YOU KNOW YOUR PLACE!

ALLEN! Since when did I become YOURS!? That line made me SICK!

I think you got your "Magic Fingers" from playing with your D*CK!

Now I hope you learned your lesson, it's time for me to leave...

Time for Claire to drop the bomb, on this transvestite of a thief!

**CLAIRE:** Skye read your raps again and tell me how terrible they sounded!

I know Skye is your name, but it's about time you were grounded!

I don't care if you're famous, and Jill won't care if you have riches!

Since when was it acceptable, to call both of US your BITCHES!?

If that's how insensitive you're gonna be, then why don't YOU get a life!

Because if Jill and I never existed, guess who wouldn't have a wife...

**WHO WON!? **

**YOU DECIDE! **

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

* * *

**Ok, so yeah, special appearances from Rio and Claire since the boys were already going too far with the jokes. (Oh, the only reason Jill wasn't there, was because she already rapped against Lillian...but at least Claire got angry for her too...if all three of them came and rapped, the apocalypse would have happened)**

**Anyways...thanks for reading! Review, and Request, and we'll keep doing what we do!**


	10. Doctor Jin VS Doctor Trent

**Hello. Ok, here's another Rap Battle. This one is just something we decided to do. **

**WE GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL MAKERS OF EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY...and everything else we say before we start.**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**DR. JIN!**

**VS.**

**DR. TRENT!**

**BEGIN!**

**JIN:** Everything's going to be alright, so there's no need to fear,

Somebody called for a doctor? Well, I'm already here!

And not a moment too soon, I have to make haste!

We have to remove that _horrible _tumor! Oh wait... that's just your face!

I can _try_ to fix that, but it would be of no use!

You're up against a REAL doctor! How's it feel Dr. Seuss?

**TRENT:** Elli, how's my schedule?

**ELLI:** You have 30 minutes, before you have to start working again!

**TRENT:** I don't need 30 minutes! I'll end this in 10!

Better give him a sedative, I guarantee this won't be much fun,

Because Dr. T is about to start med class 101!

You broke our first rule! So kneel down and repent!

Rule 1: doctors should save lives! Not have sex with their patient!

**ELLI:** Dr. Trent, I have something to say, I hope I'm not a bother,

But I've seen his son... He's a bigger loser than his father!

**JIN:** Nice try with that line, it would've really hurt,

If I weren't fighting a sissy who hides behind his nurse's skirt!

But you got one thing right; this will be over in a flash!

Now bend over, so I can surgically remove that stick up your ass!

You're always working! That's probably why you can never get a date!

Now run off to your next appointment, or you're gonna be late...

**TRENT:** My work IS my life! There's no time for rest!

But that's the price you have to pay for being the BEST!

But if helping people is less important than dating a girl,

I'd rather kill myself than live in _that_ world...

**ELLI:** You put you work second, and put dating girls first?

If Dr. Trent is the best, then you're probably the worst!

**TRENT:** Because your skills were weak, you'll never survive

If I had been your doctor back then... maybe your girlfriend would still be alive...** (*)**

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

* * *

**(*) So...you guys know about the dead girlfriend/wife/lover that Dr. Jin used to have right? That's what we heard around the fandom. Well... that's what Dr. Trent was talking about...**

**So...anyways, Review, Request and we'll do the work! **


	11. Sabrina VS Chelsea

**So what's up everyone? Anyways, here is another one! This request is from...** **Princess harvest! ****Ok, so it's…SABRINA VS. CHELSEA!**

**WE GIVE FULL CREDIT TO THE ORIGINAL MAKERS OF ERB! AND EVERYTHING ELSE WE SAY BEFORE WE START.(Y'KNOW…THE DON'T GET OFFENDED? *COUGH* DR. TRENT *COUGH*)**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**(GIRLS EDITION)**

**SABRINA!**

**VS.**

**CHELSEA!**

**BEGIN!**

**SABRINA: ** When you first saw me, tell me what did you see?

I bet you never thought Sabrina could be an M.C!

What? You thought I was kind and shy? Guess what you're wrong!

Bitch, you've been testing my patience, I'm surprised I even lasted this long...

Believe me, being nice to you was a pain in the ass, and one hell of an obstacle,

Because how can you say "Chelsea go f**k yourself!" in the nicest way possible!?

**CHELSEA:** Well, looks like the cat's got claws! I didn't know you could get mad,

But I guess it's expected, since Count Dracula's your dad!

And you actually hated me? How do you think I feel?

Did you honestly think all my "niceness" was real?

HAH! When it comes to hating you, I was probably first!

I even hated your _parents_ for their mistake called "YOUR BIRTH"!

**SABRINA:** At least I _have_ a dad and tons of money too!

Just me having these things, puts me waaay ahead of you!

You're just a poor, sad little girl, who sleeps alone in her bed...

Dreaming about her parents who are probably both dead!

But good news is you're not alone! Isn't that great!

I have a friend named BATMAN, maybe you two can relate!

**CHELSEA:** OH NOW IT'S ON YOU INSENSITIVE BITCH!

You think I give a shit if your family's rich!?

I'm the one girl in this game that you never should've crossed!

I've got a cheat code for UNLIMITED money! Now bitch, tell me who lost!

And at least I'm an ORIGINAL character! Not a mix of Mineral Town's Mary and Leaf Valley's Dia...

Because combining those two characters, gives you a piece of shit named Sabrina!

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**SABRINA:** So umm... are we still having snacks after this Chelsea? I'm buying...

**CHELSEA:** Yay! You know it! Hehe *hugs*

* * *

**O_o Y'know...even WE are not sure if they were acting in the end or not...though it's good to know that they're still friend afterwards! **

**Anyways, blah blah blah, Review and we'll do the work, yada yada yada. And we would also like to say that we enjoy reading your reviews! You guys are always awesome!**


	12. Dirk & Ivan VS Candace & Luna

**So, here's another rap battle! This one is a double rap battle! Anyways, enjoy! **

**WE GIVE FULL CREDIT T THE ORIGINAL MAKERS OF ERB! And everything else we say!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**(DOUBLES EDITION)**

**DIRK & IVAN!**

**VS.**

**LUNA & CANDACE!**

**BEGIN!**

**DIRK:** Well, it looks like our first "double rap battle" is such an epic fail!

Two little girls? I find more difficulty when I deliver the mail!

But I guess this is a good chance for these girls to learn their lesson,

So how about it Ivan? Time for this class to be in session?

**IVAN:** Hahaha, I appreciate the introduction but it won't change the results,

I can understand her big sister, but what's the kid doing here? This is a game for adults!

Oh, by the way, I'm Ivan that's Dirk and we came to win,

So without further ado, let this rap battle begin!

**LUNA:** OHOHOHO! I expected a challenge but this is what I see?

You two don't even deserve to breathe the same air as me!

Hey Candace, get over here, and move a little closer!

Here you'll see two LOSERS whose careers will soon be over!

**CANDACE:** Luna, slow down... don't be in a rush...

At least show the "soon-to-be" losers some respect, because I doubt they get much...

**LUNA:** Oh, you're right! Where are my manners, I was going too fast,

Hello! We're Candace and Luna and were here to kick some ass!

**DIRK:** I'll take over for my brother before things get too wild,

Because he may not show it, but its breaking his heart, having to beat down a child!

**IVAN:** Yes it does Dirk, what you say is true...

But as we are adults, there are some things we MUST do!

And as for you Luna, what do you know about careers being over?

That is a GROWN-UP topic; I'll explain it when you're older!

Just give up now, because no matter how many times you try, you can never beat _this!_

I'm a TEACHER, you're a CHILD, and this game is over! CLASS DISMISSED!

**LUNA:** Y'know, the whole "child" joke is overused. Can't you come up with something new?

Because this so called "child", has 10 times more "life experience" than either of you!

Because having children is our game's biggest feature,

Unlike the game with a gay-ass mailman and a pedophile teacher!

But probably the biggest reason you virgins don't get laid, is because you two only share 1 lover!

**CANDACE:** I disagree... they probably have sex all the time, but only with each other...

Because you two are BROTHERS in HARVEST MOON, this _had_ to be your fate...

With sooo many DIRKxIVAN Yaoi pairings, you guys make even my husband look straight...

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**Hehe...hope you enjoyed this one! So, me and my bro always write this, and we are glad there are so many supporters! Well...even though I'm usually the one who speaks for the both of us, my bro would like to say something to you guys first. So here is my brother who calls himself...Zero! (It's his penname)**

**-YukinaMIzuki**

"_**Hello everyone, like she said it's me... the one who writes these rap battles, at first this was nothing more than a small past time but now, seeing so many people actually review and comment good things about our rap battles, really makes me happy! I just really wanted to thank you guys personally for all your support and kindness, and know that I will keep doing this since this is something I enjoy making, Oh and I'll be using this font to speak during author's notes, lastly I know my sister usually calls me "bro" but having "YukinaMizuki's bro" as a penname is a freakin mouthful, you guys can just call me... Zero, I don't have a account and never will HAH! anyway blah blah blah, Thanks guys! I'll keep up the good work, STAY TUNED!"**_

_**-Zero**_

**Oh yeah, if it's bold and underlined, it's both of us. Stay tuned, and Review, Request, and we'll do the work!**


	13. Luke VS Denny

**Yo everyone! Anyways...you guys probably know who we are, since we've been introducing ourselves ever since the start of this stuff, so let's just skip introductions. So this is a request by **Syla **and seconded by a** Guest. **Now, we'd like to say that we're sorry that it isn't exactly well...what you asked...we're very sorry that we couldn't add Kai..but, we still hope you enjoy it.**

**WE DO NOT OWN ANYTHING ALL CREDITS GO TO THE ORIGINAL MAKERS OF ERB! **

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**DENNY!**

**VS.**

**LUKE!**

**BEGIN!**

**DENNY: **All hands on deck! Let's get this show on the road!

Welcome to the "Rap battle game" set to super hard mode!

Boy, you have no idea about the shit you're in,

You're fighting a war that you're never gonna win!

So tell me Luke, is rapping against me extreme? Or insane?

Why don't you give me your answer, once you've located your brain!

I mean aside from Doctor Trent, how can anyone be _THAT_ dense?

Now I feel bad, because I'm rapping against someone, who has NO COMMON SENSE!

**LUKE:** Heh, everything, whether it's extreme or insane, I already did it!

There's a fine line between the two, and I play jump rope with it!

Hahaha! And _you _thought _I _would lose at rapping? The very idea is outrageous!

I knew Lanna sucked at music and rhyming, but I never knew it was contagious!

Like, I would lose to a jerk, who spends all his time on the pier,

Take some advice from you girlfriend and Drop out of your career!

You said this was "hard mode" psssh, more like "beginner" it would seem,

Because if rapping against _you_ is hard, then rapping against _me_ is "EXTREME"!

**DENNY:** At least _I _rock at what I do; I can fish without even trying!

Unlike _you_ who can't even make a table, without it shooting lasers and flying!

Maybe you should quit your job, and find a new one, maybe farming?

Because with all the trees you've cut down, you probably _started_ global warming!

And if we're talking about girls, you think Lanna's so bad? We'll I beg to differ,

A girl who "dances" at a bar? HAHA, Just face it dude, Selena's a stripper!

Lastly, I made the "Bandanna look" famous! Yeah, you heard what I said!

Mine, looks AWESOME! Yours, looks like someone took shit, and threw it at your head!

**LUKE:** Dude, I wanna know what your smoking, cuz you've got to be high,

You never made that "look" famous, you just stole it from Kai!

The only look you made famous, is your hair's ridiculous curls,

That being said, I bet you 100G that your bird Kuu, has waaay more fan girls!

Don't take it personally; I'm not trying to be mean,

It's just; you brought this upon yourself when you chose someone _THIS_ EXTREME_!_

So stick to fishing! That's one piece of advice, and here comes another!

You want to find a sea creature never before seen? Try calling your MOTHER!

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

* * *

**And this was the Rap Battle for this chapter! Hehe...well...request, review...and well...you guys know the drill!**

**And now time for a preview of the next Rap Battle! My bro will introduce it!**

"_**Next episode: Luke has finally learned the forbidden jutsu of Fuuton rasen-axe, will it be enough to stop Owen from destroying the village hidden in the leaf valley? Next time on LUKE SHIPPUDEN: episode 48 – The six paths of Owen... Don't miss it!"**_

**Wait a minute...that's not the preview! Ugh, never mind...**

**See you guys in the next chapter!**


	14. Battle of the Mayors!

**HELLO EVERYONE! We are back, and we're back with a BANG! Alright, this Rap Battle was requested by FIVE people! Thank you ****Princess**** harvest****,** **Syla****, ****Pseudopsychotic**** Pickles****, ****Strikey-Chan****, and a**** Guest! ****We hope you guys enjoy THIS! **

**ALL CREDITS GO TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS! DO NOT BE OFFENDED BY WHAT THEY SAY!**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON SPECIALS!**

**(BATTLE OF DA MAYORS!)**

**MAYOR THOMAS!**

**VS.**

**MAYOR HAMILTON!**

**BEGIN!**

**THOMAS: **let's get things started, you cocky little prick!

I've had a problem with your leadership skills; quite frankly they make me sick!

And you call yourself a mayor? Please, you're just the town creep!

I can make your town 10 times better! And I can do it in my sleep!

Boy, when I was chosen as your opponent, this rap battle was DONE,

I would probably have more of a challenge, rapping against your pompous brat of a son...

Speaking of your son, actually his looks aren't half bad...

But then it really makes me wonder... are you sure _YOU'RE _his dad?

**HAMILTON:** You want to talk about sons? I _know _Harris being your son is 100% true,

Because I guess it runs in the family, he's just as ugly as you!

When you were elected as mayor, people probably thought "The apocalypse is upon us!"

That, or your campaign said: "Vote for the biggest ASSHOLE! So vote for Mayor Thomas!"

Now, I'm just upset that this battle will be over way too soon...

What else would I expect when I'm rapping against the Harvest moon version of the great Kim Jong-Un!

So give it up! You're losing! You can't stop my rhyme!

You can't beat Hamilton, GREATEST MAYOR OF ALL TIME!

**?: ** Now I wouldn't be so sure about that...

**(MAYOR RUTGER HAS ENTERED THE ARENA!)**

**RUTGER:** Now settle down boys, and take it from me,

Grand master Rutger, Representing the town of B.B!

You drop-outs had your fun; it's a REAL mayor's turn!

I'll show you how to lead a town, so you better watch and learn!

You two keep arguing! What makes you guys so great?

You two are the only mayors that seem waaay overweight!

Listen up chumps, you can't lead as well as I can.

So you "children" run along and leave this job to a _REAL MAN_!

**?:** I think _MEN_ have done enough wouldn't you agree?

**(MAYOR INA HAS ENTERED THE ARENA!)**

**INA:** Rutger? The best mayor? HAH! And on what planet would that be?

News flash Rutger, How can you be the "Best", with all your losses to me!

A "REAL" mayor huh? You better take that back!

My town whooped your ass in so many festivals, I've already lost track.

And as for "Tommy" and "Hammy", as mayors they still don't know shit that much is true,

Even though I'm a woman, I got more balls than you two!

So why don't the 3 of you retire? Play some golf, maybe take a shower?

_I'M _the best mayor now! I won this rap battle, and I won it with _girl power_!

**?:** Hmph, please... you wanna see REAL power?

**(MAYOR FELIX HAS ENTERED THE ARENA!)**

**FELIX:** Why don't you ALL retire? Leave this job to your sons!

Being a mayor you need power! Just check out THESE guns!

You guys got so far, too bad I went even farther!

They say leading a town is hard? Well, my abs are harder!

Who do you guys think you are anyway? Two fatsos from McDonalds, and an old man with a cane?

Whoever suggest I rap against these guys must be mentally insane!

And you Ina, I won't insult you because you're a woman, but _please _try to listen,

After this rap battle, stop "pretending "to be a mayor, and get the F**K back in the kitchen!

**WHO WON?**

**YOU DECIDE! **

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

* * *

**And that's it for this Rap Battle! Well...we saw different kinds of people who wanted the Mayors to fight each other, so we just decided to have ALL of them in one, big Rap Battle! **

**YukinaMizuki (AKA sister of ZERO): So bro...Please do the honor of giving the preview for the next chapter. Do it right this time...**

**ZERO (AKA brother of YukinaMizuki): Right. *clears throat* **

"_**Next episode: Emperor Hamilton has conquered all the known world, but can his son, the long lost prince of Hamiltania, Gill Vi Hamiltania bring order and stop his father's evil reign with the power of the TREASS, which gives him complete control over all people who have eaten tomatoes? And who is this mystery girl named who gave it to him? The rebellion begins... NEXT TIME ON – Code: Treass, Gill of the rebellion Episode 1 – The power of the TREASS! ""IN THE NAME OF Gill Vi Hamiltania, I order you to... STAY TUNED!"**_

**YukinaMizuki: What the...? DIDN'T I TELL YOU TO DO IT RIGHT? *sigh and shakes head***

**YukinaMizuki and ZERO: SEE YOU GUYS NEXT TIME ON EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON! Keep requesting, and we'll be here to write!**


	15. Will VS Amir

**Hi everyone! We are back again for another rap battle! ****Aya Drevis, ****We thank you greatly for your request! It's the… BATTLE OF ROYALTY!**

**Ok, we want to warn you once again to NOT BE OFFENDED. Some of you will probably offended by what they say, but some might find it funny. We are very sorry once again.**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON SPECIALS!**

**(BATTLE OF ROYALTY)**

**WILL!**

**VS.**

**AMIR!**

**BEGIN! **

**WILL:** So they finally wish to see us rap? Looks like they aren't convinced

Then the honour falls to me, to defeat this impostor who calls himself a "Prince"

Now please try to relax, for my skills, you have yet to see

Because when it comes to pleasuring fair maidens, no one ever beats me!

Yeah, I spit rhymes so fast that if you blink, you'd miss it

Not to brag, but I also got more money than you ever knew existed

You think you can beat me? I got the power of cash!

I'm the one true prince, with the fan girls to match...

**AMIR:** You think being a prince relies solely on cash?

HAH! Then you're no prince! You're just a royal pain in the ass!

And when you say "Pleasure" your "Fair maidens" you make me laugh so much I get sick,

Yeah, your talk is real big... though I wish I could say the same for your dick

You said you'd show me your "Skills" well, THAT I want to see,

I could reincarnate 4 times and you still wouldn't beat me!

Actually I couldn't care less about winning, beating your ass is my one and only mission

I would insult your mother, but disrespecting cows is against my religion.

**WILL:** Did mine ears deceive me? Were you actually talking about maidens Mr. Forever Alone?

Your own family sets up arranged marriages for you, because you can't get a date on your own!

Majority of the people I know are ok with marriage, but you're sort of different

I don't think you're afraid of women, you're just afraid of commitment

And I think you got your facts wrong, I always satisfy women, while YOU don't have it in ya,

I said it once before, I'M the REAL prince here! Don't like it? Then take your ass back to India!

That's it! I'm afraid you've already lost; you can't match my skill,

You just got your ass beaten by THE POWER OF WILL!

**SANJAY:** Master, I cannot stand anyone talking down to you, please let me handle this POSER

**AMIR:** Very well, I grow bored. With _you _rapping against him, this battle is as good as over...

Listen up Will; it's been fun us rapping against each other

But I'll let Sanjay finish things; I just hope you don't suffer...

**SANJAY:** My master is so merciful; his kindness is too much,

He even cares about insects like you, who deserved to be crushed!

So listen up worm, my master is a REAL prince, if that respect could be bought, then it's something not even you could afford

Since he ordered me to kick your ass, then my answer is... YES MY LORD!

**WHO WON!**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

* * *

**Ya...now who can guess where that last line of Sanjay's came from? Hehe... ok, so as always, Review and Request! **

**YukinaMizuki: *sigh* I know I'm gonna regret this... my brother will do the preview again...**

**ZERO: Ok, get ready for the next preview!**

"**NEXT EPISODE: The battle between Rock-ku and Skye-geta reaches the climax! Rock-ku's ultimate technique the hamehameka was deflected in one hit! But just as Skye-geta prepares to launch the last hit, Rock-ku surges with power! His playboy energy reaching over 9000! And he transforms into the LEGENDARY SUPER FLIRT! Will his new technique, the SUPER FLIRT BOMB, be enough to defeat the prince of all flirts!? NEXT TIME ON... HARVEST BALL Z: Episode 33- RISE! THE LEGENDARY SUPER FLIRT! "Everyone... LEND ME YOUR FLIRT ENERGY!" Stay tuned...**

**YukinaMizuki: See...didn't I say I'd have my regrets with that decision? Well...**

**Both: SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!**


	16. Kathy VS Gwen

**What's up everyone? We're back! Sorry for the fact that we took longer than usual... we sorta have school and stuff...well, we decided to do this just cuz we wanted to...**

**Hey guys...any of you guys noticed our little Easter eggs that we have at the ending author's note? (YukinaMizuki: I now learned to live with those previews cuz they're actually kind of funny) Hehe...we wanted to see who actually READ the author's note, since usually people just skip it...well...let's just go to what you guys were here for.**

**ALL CREDITS GO TO THIER RESPECTIVE OWNERS!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**(GIRLS EDITION!)**

**KATHY!**

**VS.**

**GWEN!**

**BEGIN!**

**KATHY: **When I heard everyone was doing rap battles, I thought "Now this, I gotta see"

But when I saw _your _name on the roster, I was like "Oh, you've got to be kidding me..."

A back-water reject, with absolutely NO claim to fame,

I'd like to see exactly how many Harvest Moon fans even remember your name!

Look, I'm a really patient person, but when I played your games, I spent less time playing, and more time complaining...

Let's see, your "melodies" weren't magical and forget the homeland, it was your personality that needed saving!

You know all this, yet you still want to run in the "big leagues" using the skills that you brought?

AHAHA! Now that's pretty funny, c'mon let's see what you got!

**GWEN:** Yeah, my fans might not be many, but I get them fairly, not using dirty tricks like _somebody_ is...

Hey, when you got all your fans, exactly how many of them did you sleep with?

And I played your games too; I played "Tree of Tranquillity" quite happily.

But "Animal Parade" confused me, was the game named after your family?

They also said we have the same likes, do you mind explaining that a bit clearer?

I can see why _you _like horses, I mean... just look in the mirror!

HAHAHA! I've gotta stop soon, all this laughing can't be good for my health!

So next time you lecture someone about the "big leagues" make sure you're in the "big leagues" yourself!

**KATHY: **Big talk from a carpenter's granddaughter, who learned from nature since she was 3,

I guess that also explains why you have about as much sex appeal as a tree...

How do you even get guys? A flat body like that is nothing but a relationship ender,

Even Jamie has more sex appeal than you, and I don't even know what the F**k is his/her gender!

Oh wait... you do have a guy that likes you, yeah, I think you guys are on the same page...

Though I think it would probably help, if you two actually _looked_ the same age...

But don't get me wrong, dating an older guy is waay hotter,

I... just prefer not dating guys who look the same age as my father.

**GWEN: **You talking about Bob? He's not old, he's younger than he may seem,

Not only is he nicer than YOUR muscle-bound boyfriend, but he's a lot bigger... if you know what I mean...

You honestly chose someone, more brawn than brain, to be your lover?

But now that I think about it, both you guys are brainless, so you're made for each other!

So what do you say to that "miss waitress"? Tell me, did you have fun?

You've been getting served all night, now your shift's about done,

Because unlike a bimbo like you, I'm an animal expert, I deal with birds, cats, horses' even frogs!

Though this was the first time I had to deal with a BITCH that had no relation to dogs...

**WHO WON?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAB BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**Well... now, as always, goodbye for now. Please Review and Request, and we'll keep doing this. Now, we leave you with a preview again!**

**YukinaMizuki: Bro, care to do the honors?**

**ZERO: Here's the preview for the next rap battle! (Really!)**

**PREVIEW: Teaching... an ancient art used to instruct people, however all teachers must obey the law of equivalent exchange... one day... two brothers named Ivan and Dirk... broke the biggest taboo in teaching... trying to teach Anita math... the results... horrifying. Ivan lost his left arm and his leg while Dirk... he lost his entire body but Ivan used the last of his energy to bind his brother's soul to a wooden suit of armor... now the two seek to find the legendary "Philosopher's Textbook" an item which may return them to their original forms... ON THE NEXT EPISODE... Ivan and Dirk journey to central city to join the Teaching corps... and hopefully find a clue to what they seek... NEXT TIME ON, FULLMETAL TEACHER: BROTHERHOOD – Episode 15: The last opponent of the teacher exams... Lloyd Mustang, the Flame teacher! **

**STAY TUNED!**

**YukinaMizuki: *sighing but getting used to it***

**YukinaMizuki and ZERO: See you guys.**


	17. Gale VS Ignis

**What's up everyone? Everyone enjoying life? Well, we're back again! We don't know why again, but we decided to do this.**** PinkSweets14? Sorry we didn't do your request exactly…still, we would like to give you credit nonetheless for the idea!**

**ALL CREDITS GO TO THE OWNERS!**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON SPECIALS!**

**(BATTLE OF MAGICAL BEINGS!)**

**WIZARD GALE!**

**VS.**

**HARVEST KING IGNIS!**

**BEGIN!**

**GALE:** You really wanna fight? Then bring it on Ignis! Let's see if you can last!

In the words of another wizard, this is one battle that YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

I suggest you leave now, "O shirtless one" and go back to that mountain that you call a home,

Though I can only imagine what a perv like _you _does when he's home alone...

Heh, we're just getting started and already, I'm getting excited,

Me rapping against the "Harvest King"? Hah! "King of Douche bags" is more like it!

A "King" that is doomed to live alone on his mountain, Oh, I almost feel sorry,

Because between you and me... I've got more "magic" in my finger, don't believe me? Just ask Akari!

**IGNIS:** Insolent fool! Do you know who you're talking to? Do you, you insignificant brat!?

I'm the Chuck Norris of Harvest Moon, may I remind you of that!

You think you can rap against me? I've beaten Zeus' ass! Even sent Odin and Thor up in smoke!

And now you're telling me a puny wizard wants to rap? That ain't even funny, just some sort of bad joke...

And I've talked to Akari, she said your "magic finger" was pathetic and that you should've prepared more in advance,

She wanted to see what REAL magic looks like, so I showed her what's inside my pants!

Hey, she wanted a real man, what else can I say?

Blame the fact that you can't say the name "GALE" without first saying "GAY"!

**GALE:** Y'know for someone so "bright", your brain's kinda dim,

I wouldn't compare you to Chuck Norris, Cuz it would be an insult to him!

Your "Skills" and your "game" are both weak, and your pride is immense!

You're a guy with only one pick up line, which is "Let the baby making commence!"

Not smooth at all, you're just a common sex freak, who sees any girl, and immediately wants to "Do" her,

I look into my crystal ball and see many unwanted pregnancies waiting in your future!

Now does THAT sound godly? Heck no! You're a fraud!

So mark this day in Harvest Moon history! The day a wizard beat a god!

**IGNIS:** Looks like you still haven't learned, you should've hit the road...

Up next I'll be breaking much more than JUST the magician's code!

And you dare question my "Skills"? Maybe a pair of glasses is what you need!

Because every time I even set foot in a room, girls collapse from nose bleed!

Remember I'm IGNIS! I'm this entire world's master!

I spit rhymes so fast, that even light wished it was faster!

That should be enough, Game over little boy, you just lost this thing...

So why don't you show some respect, and BOW DOWN TO THE KING!

**WHO WON?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**TAKERU: **Akari, did you actually sleep with _these_ guys?

**AKARI: **Wha? Somebody call the aviation authorities cuz these guys are high as f**k today...

**TAKERU: ***nod* True that...

* * *

**Well, this was that chapter! **

**YukinaMizuki: Oh Akari and Takeru...we honestly don't know what's going on with the "magical deities" today...anyways, Bro? C'mon, do this chapter's 'preview.'**

**ZERO: Next Preview!**

"**A long time ago... The great prince Will decided to leave Sunshine Islands to return to his home country... before he left, he said that he left all of his riches in "Two Piece"... Now all people from all over the world journey to the Grand Circle to find the legendary treasure of "Two Piece"! Our story focuses on the fisherman Denny D. Luffy, who has eaten the cursed "MokuMoku fruit" which has given him the ability to stretch his hair! Join him and his crew, the purple bandana fisherman, on the quest to become the next "Prince of Sunshine Islands"! NEXT TIME ON, TWO PIECE: Episode 11 – Vaughn the bounty hunter arrives! SET SAIL!"**

**YukinaMizuki: *stares*...**

**ZERO: What?**

**YukinaMizuki: *points at preview* Seriously. This?**

**ZERO: C'mon... I want Will's riches... how much does he even have? Think about it...**

**YukinaMizuki: ...Good point...who wouldn't want Will's riches?**

**Both: Anyways, REEQUEST AND REVIEW, AND WE'LL DO THE WORK!**


	18. Akari VS Hikari

**Hi everyone! Well we are back again! Now this one was requested by ****MimiZ! Thank you very much for the request! **

**ANOTHER NOTE ABOUT THIS RAP! : Y'know about how there are four farmers in Tree of Tranquility? Well, Yuuki, Takeru, Akari and Hikari are all siblings here. Now, as always, PLEASE don't get offended about what they say. **

**ALL CREDITS GO TO THEIR RIGHTFUL OWNERS!**

* * *

**EPIC RAB BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON SPEACIALS!**

**(FAMILY WARS!)**

**HIKARI!**

**VS.**

**AKARI!**

**BEGIN!**

**HIKARI:** So now it's our turn? Well sis, I think this is for the best,

Because quite frankly, I have so many things I'm hoping to get off of my chest

Growing up, you were always such a brat; you were given clothes, toys and even jewellery, what's next!?

The only thing more apparent that our parent's favouritism is your enormous brother complex!

Sure big bro Yuuki and Takeru always favor you, because you're their "little flower"

But I wonder how they would react if they ever found out about all your "videos" of them during their showers...

It's a fact, nothing more that your pretty face is a waste...

I'll show you that in our family you're the only disgrace!

**AKARI:** Are you sure in our family I'm the _only_ disgrace?

You said you wanted to "get some things off your chest?" hehe well, I didn't know you had one in the first place

And when you said I had a brother complex, I think that was a total lie!

Because if that was true, I would've videotaped YOU cuz you look like a guy!

You really wanna play sis? HAH, your rhyme is all talk...

Trying to fight ME? Please, I've been kicking ass at rap since before you could walk

Go back home! Just take my advice, and follow it to the letter,

Just accept the fact that even mom and dad, they both liked me better...

**HIKARI:** I _wish_ mom and dad could see you now, boy would they be amazed,

They'd stare in wide wonder at the slut they had raised...

Gill, Jin, Toby, Chase, Calvin, Luke, Owen... plus Ignis and Gale,

Heck, you even went after Julius! I didn't even know he was a male!

Those boys should never have met Akari... they should have straight up and left her,

I mean, my sister's ass has been in bed more times that Hugh Hefner!

I bet Natsume Inc. Is regretting their main character choice now, it should have been me!

Rather than _this_ main protagonist who gives her virginity away like Halloween candy!

**AKARI:** Are you sure that was me? Are you feeling alright?

Because I'm sure as hell not the one who comes home smelling like guys every night!

Just the other day you came home, hair messy and clothes ripped like you were just in a fight,

And you said you just went to Dr. Jin for a check-up? Oh, he "Checked you up" alright

And you have the nerve to blame_ me_ for the things that _you_ did?

All your dirty little secrets that should've stayed hid...

And here's where it ends, I hope next time you get a clue!

Just Remember lil' sis, that in _our_ game no one ever liked you!

**WHO WON?**

**YOUDECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**HIKARI:** *sigh* I'm glad that's over... it's really hard to act mean...

**AKARI:** Tell me about it... I hope I wasn't too hard on you

**HIKARI:** Same here

**AKARI:** By the way, what _was_ the reason that you came home with your clothes ripped yesterday?

**HIKARI: ** Ummm... big bro Takeru said he wanted to see if even our "sizes" looked the same, whatever that means, so he spent the whole day chasing me...

**AKARI:** I'm gonna kill that bastard...

* * *

**ZERO: Ehehehe... let me tell you what your bro was thinking Hikari... he was-**

**YukinaMizuki: Don't. You. Dare. I won't allow you to soil Hikari's innocent mind!**

**ZERO: Hmph... (Not like there's anything there anyway...)**

**YukinaMizuki: (True dat… but don't tell them that...) ANYWAYS! Bro, Preview! **

**ZERO: Once again, here we go!**

**PREVIEW: The so-called star rancher of Harvest Moon Jamie has become tired of everyday life… one day however, Jamie's life changed when a white notebook fell from the sky. The legendary Harvestnote… the notebook only contained a set of rules one of them being: "The person whose name is written within this notebook will turn into a vegetable after 60 seconds" After reading this Jamie begins to try it out and finds that it is indeed true! Now aided by the Harvest god Ignis who loves apples, Jamie intends to use the power of the Harvestnote to become the new main protagonist of the Harvest Moon world! The only person who stands against Jamie now is the mysterious detective "T-na" who has never once failed a case! Who will win this battle with lives on the line! NEXT TIME ON: HARVESTNOTE- Episode 5: T-na's true identity! STAY TUNED!**

**YukinaMizuki: *fake gasp* now who can Tina- I mean- T-na be? **

**ZERO: I'll give you a hint. T-na's true identity is….AGHHHHH *turns into vegetable***

**YukinaMizuki: *face palm*...…Jamie strikes again! (To ZERO) …no one said how long you'd be a vegetable though…eh…now I have to make sure no one eats you, ships you for money, uses Vegetable poison on you, sickles you to death….eh, moving on...  
**

**YukinaMizuki and Vegetable ZERO: Review, Request and stuff, and we can keep seeing you guys!**


	19. Won VS Lloyd

**Hi guys! It's us again! We're back, as always to do what we usually do, which is...Jumping into the word of rainbows and flying unicorns! ...Just kidding, to write another rap, duh! Since there weren't really any requests at the moment, we just wrote this on our own!**

**ALL CREDITS GO TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS, and don't get offended. (As always)**

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON SPEACIALS!**

**(BATTLE OF MERCHANTS)**

**WON!**

**VS.**

**LLOYD!**

**BEGIN!**

**WON:** Well, what a surprise! I never imagined this would happen,

I thought I would be rapping against this loser named Lloyd, not freakin Aladdin!

Oh wait, is that you Lloyd? My mistake, what a shame...

Though a street rat and a failure of a merchant ARE practically the same...

Hey, does your "bazaar" sell any magic lamps? HAHA now _that_ would be immense!

I know! Maybe you could use all 3 wishes to improve your fashion sense!

But let's just be civil here, I was just trying to be nice,

How about a deal? I whoop your ass at rap, and only charge you half-price?

**LLOYD:** Well, I don't need charity from a shady seller, whose brain is wired wrong,

I'LL win this rap battle, and send YOUR ass back to Hong Kong!

See, one look at your prices make your customers faint,

Because _your_ greed makes Mr. Krabs from Spongebob almost seem like a saint!

You and your "big talk" everyone knows it's just for show,

You really wanna fight? Well then, come at me bro!

Punches, kicks, or insults? Take your pick; it's your choice I believe,

Were having a special on those! Its "free day" mother f***r so time to receive!

**WON:** Heh, _YOU_ having a "free day"? Now that's just a disgrace,

Coming from a skinny white boy, who looks way out of place!

But what I can't seem to figure out is why you're so full of rage?

That and why you still watch Spongebob even at _your_ age...

But here's something new, I saw you the other day hanging out with Mayor Felix looking so respectful and proper,

If only he knew you were only hanging out with him, so that you could have sex with his daughter

In China we have a saying to describe what you did,

In English it says: "Don't let weirdly dressed men, hang out with your kids"!

**LLOYD: ** Me? Dress weird? My clothes are hot off the shelf!

And here's a saying for you! "If you insult another man's clothes, make sure you dress well yourself"!

Though coming from you, that's no big surprise...

Everything is made in China, including huge lies!

Being a better rapper than you is what I'm all about!

It's almost the end, so I guess it's time for this "Chinese" to be "Taken-out"

This battle is over! Your rap stunk so badly, I had to open the exhaust

With rapping like that, you shouldn't have been named "WON" you should've been named "LOST"!

**WHO WON!?**

**YOU DECIDE!**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

* * *

**And that's the end of this chapter's rap battle! We are so sorry for not updating sooner! **

**YukinaMizuki: Anyways...good news is, I managed to fix my bro so he's not a vegetable anymore! Here he is for this week's preview!**

**Zero: Do you know how hard it was being corn? My god... I was allergic to myself... any way here is the preview**

**PREVIEW: We now continue on the adventures of Jack Ketchum from mineral town, in the last episode he, along with his trusty friends, Skye, who aspires to be the number 1 Harvestmon breeder, and Claire who aims to be the top coordinator of the whole Harvestmon world, climb the stairs to fight the first member of the legendary "Elite 44"! Will Jack and his best Harvestmon companion, Jillachu, be able to handle Rock, the first out of the 44 members? What type of Harvestmon could he be a master of!? Stay tuned to find out! Next time on: HARVESTMON: New world – "Rock" n roll!"... "Jillachu! I chose you!" "Jiiiill... (Translation: Sigh, why am I wearing this Pikachu suit anyway...)" **

**YukinaMizuki: Harvestmon! ZERO, return!**

**ZERO: ...**

**YUkinaMizuki: Eh...too much? **

**ZERO: Just, leave the jokes to me ok...**

**YukinaMizuki: That wasn't a joke...I've been watching too much of these shows...**

**Both: As always, Review, Request ok? But...we have an announcement... we're a bit busy these days, so we're not sure if we can update as quickly as we could before...we're sorry in advance, but just keep requesting and reviewing all right? We're bound to get to those as soon as we can! **


	20. Mark VS Jack (SEASON FINALE!)

**Hi guys. We have an announcement. This is now the season finale, and then we'll end Epic Rap Battles of History. BUT WAIT! There WILL be a season 2! This time, all the characters will start from scratch. Cuz, have you noticed that through the whole Epic Rap Battle, none of them duplicated?**

**Well, why should we keep you waiting? Here's the season finale of ERBH! **

**All credits go to their respective owners! **

* * *

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**SEASON FINALE!**

**JACK!**

**VS.**

**MARK!**

**(Jack and Mark step up to the stage and stare each other down...)**

**READY?**

**BEGIN!**

**JACK:** Whoa now! Slow down boy; let me get things straight,

You wanna beat me? Well, you're not _that_ great.

The premise of your game: "Islands split apart!"

Plot sucked so hard, I had to return to Wallmart!

I said "Excuse me miss, can I make a return? This game, that's it..."

She said "I'm sorry sir, but we don't accept shit..."

Your game swung and missed, you can't beat this!

OG, MC, since 96'!

Your turn bro, let's hear some rhyme!

Give me a good fight, show me a good time!

**MARK:** Heh, all this bark and no bite from a weak little pup,

It aint over till the fat lady sings, so tell your momma to warm up!

I'll show you a good fight, hell... I'll beat ya blue!

Do you have any idea who you're talkin to!?

M to the A to the R to the K

You want a "good time"? Hah! I don't bend that way!

You seem to think you're a rapper, for which there is no equal,

But like every Disney movie, your games never deserved a sequel!

You've been on top to long! Time to send you to school!

Move aside old man, and let a new king rule!

**JACK:** Man, I'd _LET_ you rule, if you were in a good game...

Unlike you, anyone who's ever played Harvest Moon has at least heard of my name!

**MARK:** Please, after they meet me, no one will remember _your _name, let alone this fight...

**JACK:** Oh yeah? Your girl Chelsea seemed to remember just fine, when I rode her last night...

Just go ahead and ask her, I'm sure she'd tell...

**MARK:** Now that you mention it, she told me about a guy who F***s worse than he smells...

Because I always get girls! They always want me!

**JACK:** HAHAHA, with all the fanfiction about you? Let's say "Vaughn" begs to disagree...

**MARK:** So who won the last rap? I swore I beat you!

**JACK:** Why don't you wake up first? And let's settle this in season 2!

**WHO WON?**

**YOU DECIDE?**

**EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HARVEST MOON!**

**GAME OVER!**

* * *

**So here it is! Please don't ask why Mark VS Jack was the end of season 1, cuz we're not answering that. Well, we're not actually sure when we're going to start Season 2, but just send your requests, ok? **

**Well, Bye guys! We'll see you again soon!**

**-ZERO and YukinaMizuki**


End file.
